damn

damn this body of mine
too big to be beautiful
too shapeless to be desired.

damn these uneven breasts
untouched, unheld, unwanted
they lie in cockeyed shame.

damn this giant face
so present everywhere I go
so unabashedly ugly.

damn these monstrous thighs and
the stretch marked belly
covered by loose, sagging skin.
damn these shapeless hips
and the place where a waist would be
if only i had a waist.
damn my toes, my callouses, my scars.
damn my eyes for being brown
my hair for being ornery
my ass for being flat
my head for what it does to me.
damn the mirror for feeding my insecurity.


january 2008, wilmington north carolina